0blackswan0 (0blackswan0) wrote,

I hate...

I hate how people judge me. I hate how people think I am always this happy-go-lucky person. I hate crying. I hate always thinking about committing suicide. I hate pretending like everything is okay. I hate how my friends are nearly gone. I hate that I wish I was never born. I hate how people stare at me. I hate how people think they it's always me. I hate it how people talk shit when the person is standing right there! I hate being passive. I hate sweating. I hate life. I hate that my brother's left. I hate how people use me. I hate German class. I also hate almost everyone in German. I hate that I didn't take creative writing. I working so hard only to get no where. I hate stress. I hate not having a job. I hate people believing everything they hear. I hate that people can't draw their own conclusions. I hate it that I know so many secrets. I hate being tired and wanting to cry. I hate complaining. I hate that sometimes I try so hard and yet its no use. I hate trying to get into peoples good spirits. I hate that I never see my mom anymore. I hate that all she cares about is her work. I hate that people think on impulse only to find out they fucked up in the end. I hate that I over-analyize everything. I hate that I am no longer friends with Erika. I hate that I can't get a boyfriend. I hate that I can never let go of the feeling of the weight of the world on my shoulders. I hate that I am my own worst critic. I hate that I am so self-concious. I hate that people jump to conclusions. I hate it when people cry infront of me. I hate it when I give into when people want sweets from me. I hate that I can't make a DIV layout. I hate that I know I am going to fail the German regents. I hate it when people yell at me. I hate when people think I don't know shit. I hate that I am uncomfortable in my own skin. I hate that I feel like going back to my old ways. I hate anorexia. I hate it when people can never make their minds up. I hate when people say they want to be single and then decide that they can't be independent. I hate that my dog, Bacon, always pisses and shits on the floor. I hate that I didn't think to do this entry before now. I hate that Science is my worst class. I hate that I don't have the urge to study for things I know I should. I hate it that I am afraid of the dark. I hate it when people are so selfish. I hate it when people accuse me of making someone poor, what the fuck. I hate that I am told not to swear. I hate my mom's smoking. I hate smoking. I hate death. I hate my brothers not being here. I hate that I have never been out of the country. I hate that music seems like my only escape. I hate that my inspiration for stories and poems are dwindling. I hate when people eye me like they know something is my fault. I hate getting asked out by kids that I am friends with. I hate being treated like shit. I hate having to literally listen to people talk about me behind me. I hate when people use the word like too much. I hate it that people are so ignorant. I hate know-it-alls. I hate rude people. I hate it when people eat with their mouth's open. I hate that I can't find THE guy. I hate that I doodle when I could be paying attention. I hate how people think I waste things, which is never the case. I hate how people say 'I love you' within a week of dating. I hate it when I see sex scenes on TV. I hate not laughing as often as I use to. I hate not being comfortable to be able to talk to my brothers. I hate that I never get to say what I really think. I just HATE myself.

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